“One of these days you will have a child just like you” was the line my mum use to say to me as a teenager. Thank god that didn’t completely come true, mind you I still have a few years ahead of me so anything can happen. But what this saying does show me is that it is predictable that you will have children that are a lot like yourself.
I know I am a lot like a mixture of my mum and dad. Thankfully for me they were both wonderful individuals that taught me respect, manners, and the importance of education and family. And of course there are so many little things and different values that they taught to me that I could write a book. But not everyone is as lucky as I was. I think I won the parent lotto with my wonderful parents.
it amazes me when people can’t see that the behaviours that they dislike the most in their children are often the same behaviours that they use in their own lives.
Your child is continuously watching everything you do. they see how you cope with the world and take on your coping mechanisms.
Some of these behaviours they will put into effect now and some they will store away in their belief systems for later years. Its where many of our beliefs come from. And sometimes trying to pinpoint our beliefs from early childhood is almost imposable because they go so far back in our history that we can’t remember where or who programmed them in to us.
What I do know is that my current behaviour is something that will influence my children. So I try to be a good role model for my kids and grandkids.
I always tell my kids that I love them when I drop them off to school. I always ask how their day was. I am always interested in what they have to say. we have a rule in our house that we have had since the kids were little. If you are honest about it, you won’t get into as much trouble. So, if you break something and come forward honestly, there is no punishment. If you try to get away with something, it’s a different matter.
Think about what behaviours you might be passing down to your children. Think about what behaviours frustrate you about your children and be honest with yourself: are they yours?