I have taken time to really know some wonderful women. They are women that support each other. They are women that don’t get jealous of other’s achievements but let those achievements inspire them. I have some women that I know I can call at a moment’s notice and have a chat with. I know that if they hear someone talking trash about me behind my back that they will stick up for me. They don’t gossip, but they are genuinely interested in what each other are doing. They are the cheer squad for others and they don’t care what people think of them. They love truth and honesty and a good quality discussion about real world issues in an intelligent manner. When they are in conversation they listen and consider other opinion, they don’t just listen while working on how they will defend their own opinion. They take all information into account and can change their mind if they believe they have new information. They don’t start drama, nor try to get caught up in it. They defend those that can’t and will help others when they can. They are curious about life and are just trying to live their life and be the best person that they can be.
This is the sisterhood that I can get behind. This is the kind of women that will make all women rise up. This is a group of women who want to make this world a better place and think about the collective group above themselves.
But not all women are like this and I know just how badly women can treat each other. If you feel that you fit in the description above, then you have probably been badly treated by other women too.
If women are going to treat women badly then why should we expect men to be any better!
I don’t know how women can be so badly behaved. They tear each other down, they lie to each other. They get involved in each other’s business and cause chaos. It makes for great TV ratings. You only have to look at the reality TV franchise of the “Housewives Of” series to see just how bitchy women can be to each other. Rather than give you a hand up they will rip the rug out from underneath you. It happens everywhere, and it doesn’t seem to matter what your social standing is, there is one woman ready to help you and another 3 ready to sabotage you.
And its not easy to know which ones are the genuinely nice ones. It takes time to build up trust between friends.
Now what really concerns me is that I don’t think those that are doing the sabotaging and tearing down even understand what it is that they are doing. I think somewhere along the way the ability to have compassion, empathy and considerations for others has evaporated. I can think of one such individual that I believe thinks she is doing everything she does for the good of the cause, but it is obvious that that cause is advancing her own career by destroying others that get in her way. Now I don’t like to name names, and if you know me, and think this is you, it probably isn’t, however just the fact that you think it might be you means you need to have a good look at yourself and feel free to give me a call and ask me directly.
You see I no longer see the point in pretending that everything is ok. I have been hurt so many times by other women tearing me down and sabotaging my efforts. And I am about to put myself out there again and I am sure that there will be women out there that will try to discredit me.
Jumping to conclusions is another thing these people do. I had a friend who died suddenly once and the woman who contacted me jumped to the conclusion that because she had been under some stress, that she committed suicide. This was not the case at all but once you start to spread conclusions that you jump to, there is all of a sudden false truths getting out there. This isn’t intentional but causes just as much harm.
Perhaps it is time that women start to treat each other with respect, dignity and generosity. Let’s stop taking trash about each other and start to put out the hand of friendship and helpfulness. Let not make friendships about how we can use that woman to further our career, and instead start to work together to further everyone. Let’s start to treat each other how we think men should treat us. After all, if we want true equality then we need to lead by example.