One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is how it is no longer OK now to make a mistake. If we do, it end up being held up to us to show us how shit we really are. Some will even collect our mistakes, have them framed and then present them to us when we feel like we are doing well, just to knock us back down again.
How do we push thought this. How do we get past this constant inability to allow mistakes so we can learn from these mistakes.
After all we are all human, and as part of being human we are going to screw up from time to time. If we are able to own that we screwed up, that is step one. there are many that wont even own it now when they stuff up.
Social media is so brutal when it comes to this. We can’t possibly put a foot wrong online. If we do, someone will use it against us.
I attended a live show with Tim Minchin (been a fan for some time) recently and one of his new songs really spoke to me. This guy is just amazing at making you laugh and think at the same time. Tim, if you ever read this, thank you.
15 minutes was the song and it was part of his BACK tour. “That we have weaponised Humiliation” was one of the lines and it really struck me that this is the concept that I have been trying to explain to myself and get out of my head but couldn’t find the right words to say it.
Here is the song that I am talking about.
I love the way he has turned around 15 minutes of fame to shame. Because that seems to be what is happening. Its about shaming others, not celebrating others. Its about tearing each other down so we can feel better about our own crappy lives.
I don’t like where this is taking us as a species. Life is hard enough as it is without not being able to make mistakes.
I also read the following on facebook recently. No idea where the story comes from but here it is:
One day a teacher so wrote on the board:
9×1 = 7
9×2 = 18
9×3 = 27
9×4 = 36
9×5 = 45
9×6 = 54
9×7 = 63
9×8 = 72
9×9 = 81
9×10 = 90
The students were laughing and joking because she had the first one wrong, the answer should be 9, not 7. She waited until the students stopped joking around and making fun of her then said
“Is this how you are seen in the world. I was wrong on purpose to show you how the world behaves if you make an error. NOBODY praises you for having hit the mark 9 times, no congratulations and high fives for getting them right, NO. But EVERYONE will crucify you, speak ill of you, laugh in your face, because you missed only one response. The moral of this story: We must learn to value people for the successes, people who have hit more time than missed, and end up being judged by only ONE error. They are not valued by others for the other NINE times they hit. “
And this is exactly my point. It is time we were more forgiving, show empathy, and celebrate achievements rather than judge everyone on the times they trip up, the times they miss the mark, the times they make stupid mistakes. A world like this is one that I would happily live in.
